The Biggest Ball of Slack in Minnesota

Sorry daily blog readers I don’t really have a good reason for the lack of blogs, except for my propensity to slack and been reading some good books lately, so let’s just hop right into this one.

Well I would like to buy you some art but if you want a painting of me it is just too gosh darn expensive – and one already sold. Yes that’s right Chris, our friend Dave, and I went down to London to see the paintings. The cheapest likeness of myself I could possibly get would have put me back 2,650 pounds; I mean that could get me a lot of root beer. Besides I get to see myself everyday for free so I did not purchase any art. It was very odd being in such a hoity-toity gallery (with Chris in a very loud Hawaiian shirt) and all these people looking at paintings of me. The painting that is on this site earlier sold (apparently there was a lot of interest) for 6,850 pounds, the most expensive painting of me (which was with a poem by the Fire Poet – don’t get Dave started on that one) is going for 9,850. Not bad, too bad I don’t get a cut. I should copywrite my face.

The good news is that I have had some root beer and Krispy Kreme to boot! No I’ve not been back to the States we just went to Harrods. It was great: free doughnuts, free paper hats, nice toilets, free water, root beer, a cute sales girl in the garden center for Dave, the ability to buy a wax work of yourself, and sales people worried about the amount Chris was fiddling with the stupidly expensive ironing board, what more could you want in a store? Then we went to Brick Lane for a curry and got haggled into one of the many curry houses. London was good, and we saw a duck lay an egg at a bus stop – which was odd.

This weekend the afore mentioned Dave had his birthday barbeque and in true English style it was cold and raining. But Dave and Chris did their male bonding over smoldering flames so they were happy. Dave loved his birthday gift which was a hand-made choose your own adventure book about his life. It took Chris and I forever to make but he loved it.

For those of you missing the news from the newsstand here is the low down:
Talking to Bill on his bike when the guy who didn’t win the lottery shows up he says:
“Got a new one for you…knock knock.”
“Whose there?”
“Cook”
“Cook Who?”
“That’s the first coo-coo I’ve heard this year.”
Then he leaves. Damn this is a weird job.

And as proof of the fact that my job is now a local tourist attraction three boys last Friday kept on taking my picture when I was not paying attention – which is always. They stood in front of me like a bunch of Minnesotans in front of the Eiffel tower and took pictures. Now some people might get aggressive or assertive about such behavior, I just get Tim. Imagine the face of Tim on the Office when something strange and disturbing happens – that what-the-heck-why-me sort of comical questioning face – that’s what I do. I’m just so surprised that any one pays attention to me - who is otherwise just a piece of the scenery. I enjoyed the quote from Sheila Hancock it was something along the lines of “I don’t like shy people, they are so selfish, and they think that people are paying attention to them.”

Other odd thing o’ the day: strange man in brightly colored jacket and tie is sorting his change to give me for the paper (he almost sticks the change in his mouth but luckily stops in time) – the paper cost .37 – he gives me.76, and right as I was about to say something about giving him the right change he goes – ‘oh wait’ - and drops a .10 Hong Kong dime in my hand. I decide then this man is too crazy and just take the money as he runs away.

Gave someone a poster celebrating another Norwich football win – woman just tells me “This is going to Africa.” and walks away.

Two people talking in front of my stand pretty much summing everything up:
“What’s in the paper today?”
“Don’t know…Football, football, football, politics.”
And then they walk away with out buying a paper.